Fictitious airline exec to Conan O'Brien: 'Screw it, we're rich!'

Ever wonder what an airline executive would say about the billions of dollars raked in from baggage, reservation and other fees? Conan O'Brien does.

Take a look at his interview with the fictitious Tony Kent, "Delta Air Lines executive vice president."

"Actually, Conan, even with those fees, Delta is just barely turning a profit," Kent said with a straight face. "With the rising cost of fuel this summer ... aw, screw it! We're rich!"

The video is funny, but fees are no laughing matter for paying passengers. According to data released earlier this week from the Bureau of Transportation Statistics, airlines pulled in $5.7 billion from baggage and reservation fees in 2010.

Charlie Leocha, founder of the consumer advocacy group Consumer Travel Alliance, told msnbc.com that more fees are coming. "The airlines are now addicted to fees and will continue to make them more complex," he said.

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Joe Myxter has been running msnbc.com's Travel section since 2006. Follow him on Twitter @msnbc_travel.

Discuss this post

I'm a huge Coco fan, so I wrote him a love song. Enjoy!

  • 1 vote
Reply#1 - Wed Jun 15, 2011 2:45 PM EDT

And the airlines can't figure out why fewer and fewer people want to fly. Just like how movie theater owners can't figure out why fewer and fewer people visit them when tickets are over $10 a person and it costs you $20 for a popcorn and soda. And how banks are losing more and more customers because they charge the same ridiculous "fees" for everything under the sun just because they can. We, as consumers, need to hit these companies where it hurts by refusing to purchase their services... their wallet.

  • 4 votes
Reply#3 - Wed Jun 15, 2011 4:23 PM EDT

No doubt.

These guys are making a basic mistake in business philosophy, "if fewer people use your product or service, charge more for it, reduce the quality or quantity of the product or service offered offered, or try to get a law enacted to restrict competition."

They've already tried the first and second, the third will probably show up soon with the help of paid off politicians of both parties.

  • 2 votes
#3.1 - Thu Jun 16, 2011 9:27 AM EDT
Reply

No one is going to thank the airlines for paying passenger's fuel bills which is exactly what they have been doing. They haven't been able to fully pass down the cost of flying to passengers. People love to fly, and travel around, however they should be understanding of what the airlines are having to deal with, especially regarding high fuelprices. Airlines are swimming in debt also, so they ain't 'rich'.

  • 1 vote
Reply#4 - Wed Jun 15, 2011 5:42 PM EDT

Which airline do you work for, notajudge?

  • 4 votes
#4.1 - Thu Jun 16, 2011 7:21 AM EDT
ben aminDeleted
Reply

Biggest problem I have with airlines using the "we have to charge for checked bags cause the extra weight causes the need for added fuel" card.

BS...I'd go along with that except for one thing...get one of those "airline credit cards" and bags fly free...

Yeah last I checked, I had "stupid" tattooed on my forehead (NOT)!

  • 1 vote
Reply#5 - Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:25 PM EDT

Actually the airlines are getting a piece of the profits from those cards. Dunno if it makes up for the "added fuel", but I'm guessing it does by a long shot, given the profits credit card companies get.

The added fees are really to make up for the fact that if the price of tickets were charged at market rate we customers would go ballistic at the prices. So they get you "on board" with the $299 price, but when all is said and done with fees we end up paying $500, which is what the ticket probably should have cost to start with.

And just for clarification - all other things being equal, the more weight you move, the more energy (i.e. fuel) you need to move the weight. That's basic physics, not "BS".

    #5.1 - Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:00 PM EDT
    Reply

    Next...Oil companies.."Why we need our Subsidies"

    • 1 vote
    Reply#6 - Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:53 AM EDT

    Decades ago, when the airline industry was screaming for deregulation, their justification was that government-controlled pricing only made flying available to the wealthy corporations and individuals. Deregulate so everyone can fly. Well, now they're slowly moving their industry back to that point, without the government's help.

    • 1 vote
    Reply#7 - Thu Jun 16, 2011 7:23 AM EDT

    I sounds like the industry needs to be regulated again. Airlines are using a finite resource, airspace, which in this case should be regulated for the good of the flying public.

    Here is some history:

      Reply#8 - Thu Jun 16, 2011 10:37 AM EDT

      You folks wanted Greyhound,well you got it. Airlines are not public transportation. They are a for profit business.

        #8.1 - Fri Jun 17, 2011 8:38 PM EDT
        Reply

        Ron Paul for President 2012 yes we can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          Reply#9 - Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:21 PM EDT

          The real shame in all of this is that the airlines are indeed not in good financial shape. If you look at the real problem though it is not in just the raising fuel cost. Employees of today's airlines in many cases make less than they did 20 years ago. Reservations, baggage handlers and counter workers are nearly all making less. Pilots is some cases are making less (not many though), however the number of executives and their salaries has increased dramatically. It now for some reason takes twice to three times the number of execs to do the same job and at four to five times the cost. The airlines may be going broke but their execs are not.

          • 1 vote
          Reply#10 - Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:50 PM EDT

          And they wonder why the only airline I fly is Southwest... Not addicted to fees.

          • 1 vote
          Reply#11 - Thu Jun 16, 2011 4:43 PM EDT

          Happenstance - that's the issue across most of the large companies in America. The executives continue to give themselves raises and promotions while denying the regular employess benifits because of cost cutting exercises. So why do we need several hundred directors making 6 figures? And if they all went away, would the people actually making the company move forward even notice? Probably not. Large companies are going to continue to flounder as more and more smart folks walk away because they aren't appreciated while the people that play the "corporate game" are promoted.

          • 1 vote
          Reply#12 - Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:04 PM EDT

          Yes, the attitude of "I deserve a big raise because I saved the company money by screwing the employees and customers" has GOT to stop!

          • 1 vote
          #12.1 - Fri Jun 17, 2011 10:21 AM EDT
          Reply

          It would seem that few observers generally understand exactly what is happening here and why the airlines are choosing to engage complex (essentially unpredictable, and this is the point precisely) fees rather than adjust the price. The answer is simple. Once upon a time, it was very difficult to shop for price on airline fares, and so the public had a distinct disadvantage when attempting to do so. The Internet, and many secondary information providers, have created what would have essentially been an 'efficient market' being one in which all buyers can know pretty much all prices. This will inevitably force prices down (to the marginal cost curve, this is Econ. 101, folks), and did so. Fees of varying kinds prevent the buying public from being able to actually know what the cost of the service will be, disabling our ability to effectively shop a commodity by price. In this way, you and I can no longer shop air fare by price. The result is that the airlines make more money ... a lot more. Whether this is a good thing is a subject I shall not debate. I will point out that the airlines are by no means the first to engage in the systematic obfuscation of pricing. Have you ever tried to go to a Cable TV web site and see how much they charge for their various tiers of service? Good luck with that. In fact cell phone companies generally do that same (I use Sprint because they are straightforward there, and I wish they offered cable TV). Have you ever tried to find out how much tax you pay in a year? This is not that hard in Federal Income Tax as it is on your return, but what about sales taxes and excise taxes and fuel taxes and the other myriad of fees and taxes we all pay? Also remember that you have to add all of the involuntary Social Security contributions which do not go into your account; they go into the general fund and exist separately only in theory. Again, this is intentional obfuscation because people would likely get upset if they knew that over 40% of every cent they make goes to pay taxes ..... never forget that knowledge is power .. and the lack of knowledge is weakness .... it always will be.

            Reply#13 - Sat Jun 18, 2011 1:56 PM EDT

            I work there (Delta). Seen my wages and benefits hacked almost in half, work rules decimated, hours flown obligatorily increased, health care benefits hacked, been the target of terrorist attacks, my union busted, and am now staring down the barrel of being outsourced. During this same period executive pay skyrocketed, and pilot pay has steadily increased (except for a brief period of concessions). I'm glad Delta is making money..too bad the front line employees are treated like slaves and undervalued. I probably qualify for food stamps, and I literally live on peanuts sometimes. This is the new face of employment America.

              Reply#14 - Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:39 AM EDT
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